Drunk In Love
by mouth-x
Summary: Do you like gay action? Fuck yeah you do! Come join Eren and Levi as their tragic love unfolds; Is it just a steamy one night stand? Will Levi be the top to Eren's bottom? Find out! -DISCLAIMER- This is a parody fic i wrote while in class. It's totally over-dramatic and ridiculous. Rated M for profuse swearing and intercourse


It was cold outside, if you asked someone how the weather was, they'd say "cold". Rain began to fall, it sprinkled down windows and the water made the windows wet with water. The castle the survey corps currently stayed in soon became even more isolated with the threat of an oncoming storm. The people inside hid away to their rooms, except for Armin who was a nerd and went to the library. Levi strode down a musty hall way, looking salty as usual.

"This rain is a dumb." He angrily muttered angrily. Finally the tiny but sexily muscled captain made it to his _private_ quarters. The door shut with a sound behind him, a door shutting sound. He lazily started a fire in the fireplace by igniting it with his fiery stare. Then he flopped down into an armchair, listening to the rain patter against the roof. A sound emitted from the door.

"A knocking?" he mumbled. It was indeed a knocking, "Who the fuck is it." Levi growled. Not an animal growl but a person growl.

In walked a damp Eren, he must have been outside because he was all wet but maybe he had fallen into a stream either way his clothes were wet.

"Sorry to disturb you, Heichou." He sniffled, looking like a puppy if a puppy only had 2 legs. Levi sighed and slumped further into his chair. His peace had been disturbed! But lucky for him Eren was a total cutie and his uniform stuck to his tanned skin in a pleasant manner. How tasty. Levi had liked this certain lad for awhile now, and was glad to be spending some alone time with him.

"Are you cold?" asked Levi, Eren looked up at him and shivered as if to answer his question. Levi cleared his throat, "Well, you're going to get sick if you stay like that you dumb slut, take off yo clothes." Eren gasped,

"Heichou! B-but-" Levi interrupted by smushing his finger to his own mouth and going "SsssHHHH." Eren shushed by not talking.

"Stop talking and start stripping." The captain yodeled, and crossed one leg over the other. The fire flickered and looked hot while the young lad flailed to get his damp jacket off. Dang. The jacket slipped to the floor in a small pile of jacket. Levi raised one of his thin brows, it looked slightly raised now. Eren proceeded to remove his shoes, then paused before getting to the thin white shirt clinging to his skin. Levi licked his lips. Damn that boy could wear a shirt.

"H-Heichou?" Eren yelled quietly.

Levi looked emo at him, "What is it, Eren?" (Jean's nose bled in the distance). Eren bit his lip sensually, the way that atually looked good and not just like you were trying to eat your own face, "Why are you looking at me like that?" he finally said, puckering his lips and flutering his eyelashes like a shouta boy.

Levi gulped, he'd been caught!1. He ran a pale hand through his black dark hair and looked hella good, "Well, I was just making sure you didn't need any...help." the captain said with an extra emphasis on help. He was referring to the fact that Eren was struggling to take off the wet clothes and he was being sexual in saying that he wanted to take them off for him. Hot.

Eren felt his face getting hot, not just because of the fire but he was hot with a sudden lust. A lust for Heichou,

"Ohh." he said, and slowly began undoing the buttons that buttoned his shirt together so it wouldn't fall off or need a zipper because zippers are wack. Levi sat up a little to get a betta view of the sweet ass in front of him. Eren was such a little tease god. He was like Britney Spears if Britney Spears had a penis and was a young boy.

"Hurry it up or im gonna do it myself," Levi gurdled. Eren smirked, and finally popped the last button. The shirt. it fell. on the GROUND. Sploot.

"Sweet tender loins." Levi whispered in his own mouth.

Eren was tan as a motherfuckr, and had a nice set of abs and V-lines that pointed to **the goods**. Levi raised a hand and made that sexual gesturing hand motion.

"Get over here now." levi said with words.

"Is that an order Heichou?" replied Eren. (onmg good one eren) Levi smirked, what a kinky fuck.

"Yes now get on this dick." Levi growled and smiled devilishly like a devil might. Eren strode through the room, looking surprisingly coordinated considering he sucked ass at using the 3D-manuever gear. He stood infront of his Heichou and waited patiently as Levi leaned forward and undid his pants with his teeth? How did he even do that?

"Oh wow good golly gosh." Eren said in his mind. Then before he knew it his pants that were on his legs were on the ground.

Levi smirked, Eren definitely wasn't wearing any pants now that his pants were off. Eren's underwear was victorias secret brand they must have cost like $30. Dang that boy certainly had BANK considering he had no parents. But he was about to have a daddy ;))))

"Those panties..." Levi whispered, clasping two of his hands on Eren's cheeks. (The butt ones).

"D-do you like them heichou?" Eren stammered, and his face blushed so kawaii!1 xD Levi supressed a grumble in the back of his throat. He wanted one thing and that thing was sex. And mayeb more cleaning supplies. but right now it was sex.

"Like them? I loev them..." Levi replied, (but he was just going to take them off so idek why it matters?)

Then the undewear was off. Slipped down the legs of eren by the tender hand of Levi. Levi remembered he was still wearing clothes and was mad, but Eren soon took those off with his hands so it made him not mad anymore.

"Are you sure about this Heichou? I am so innocent and pure." Eren said like a doorknob. Levi ran a long finger down Eren's spine, causing the boy to squirm slightly. That definitely was a finger.

"Fuck yeah. If there's anything i am sure of, sex is good." Levi repleid, casting a scandelous look up at eren before bending him over the- ohmygod is this even okay i mean levi is like 30... wait this isnt canon yeah its fine.

"Okay, please be gentle..." eren whispered quietly in a whisper. He heard Levi grunt in acknowledgement, but would he actually repsect the request? Probably not ;) THen Eren's butt became a garden that Levi planted his dick into. Eren clenched his fist as Levi rammed him against the table. What nice wood. and the table was mahogony so that was nice as well.

"Oh yeah. I am definitely going to insert my penis into you more often." levi groaned.

"You're so big omg i am overwhelmed." eren said to the other person in the room which was Levi. The captain didn't respond but he didn't need words as he shoved his unjelating dickpenis into the asshole that is Eren. He grunted in a sexual manner that was appropriate for the situation.

"oh yes. yeah. yep. give that to me." eren sscreamed and balled his fists, he was maybe going to cum.

Levi picked up the pace, deep hard thrusts and sex and then went HNGGGG and came everywhere and Eren did as well and it was beautiful and at the same time like synchronized swimming. But with gay sex.

Levi collpased onto Eren and both lay against the table trying to catch their breaths. But it was more difficult for eren because captain was laying on him and stuff.

"Holy ... fuck." levi said quietly, running a hand through his sveaty herr. Eren just laughed in between breaths, but then realized something. He squirmed out from under Levi and had an upset look on his face as he stood standing. Levi sat on the table and leaned back like a cool cat,

"Whats wrong?" he asked politely althou he may or may not have cared

"I had sex before my first kiss... thats fucked up." Eren answered. Levi blinked.

"You don't even like me, you just wanted to kick in my backdoor didn't you?!" Eren screamed, tears beginning to form in his beautiful green emerald saphire eyes. Levi was speechless, he didn't know what to say! Eren's face scrunched up and the tears started rolling down his face cheeks.

"Say something you short bitch!" Eren cried. And yelled.

"Calm down, Eren," Levi began, he didn't know where to go with this, Eren was an ugly crier and it was really killing his after-sex boner. But Eren did the opposite of what he was told, and started full on sobbing.

"You didn't even look me in the eyes when we made love!" he screamed, gathering up his clothes and making for the door. Levi sprang off the table,

"Eren don't leave! I need to tell you how i feel-"

But eren was already gone. The door slammed in the captains face.

He sighed. It was quiet now that people were no longer making sex noises. Naked Levi walked over and plopped down in the armchair, the armchair squealed like a fangirl.

"...I love you... Eren..." he whispered to the crackling fire.

the fire didn't respond. because it was

a fire.


End file.
